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July 16, 2019

oh 'that' brother, 4 letter words, request backup, almost rogue

(We left our frustrated protagonist rolling her eyes about her brother, Pat.  Yes, the same brother who once informed me that Mini should be quitting dancing in order to focus entirely on fiddle playing.  Famous quote:  'We (leprechaun wife and my egotistical-self aka your younger, worshiped brother) have found that one can't be successful at both.' 

Really?  Define success, because my kid likes doing both and I don't give a shit what you or your leprechaun fucking wife think.  No, I DID NOT say those words.  Just wish I had.  Damn it.  Why do all those sensible things come to me on the drive away from the scene, when the only words that were available to me DURING the scene were four-lettered and primarily started with the letter F?

Like how I protected the innocent here?
 Yeah, I am a real peach.
Fast forward about 3 years.  Mini continues to learn fiddle from a Skype lesson - although her lessons with Aunt Leprechaun did not cease directly after 'the incident' where her middle-child mother (me) littered the atmosphere with foul language and stormed out of their house.  It wasn't until Aunt Leprechaun decided she didn't have time to teach lessons anymore a year or two later that Mini and Curly and Reg began taking fiddle and concertina lessons thru the computer.  Much less cussing.  And driving.

Pat invited Mini to participate in a ceili band competition this spring.  She did.  They won.  Now the band (including Mini) is travelling to Ireland mid August to compete.  I am not going.  Mini is travelling with Pat and two of his kids, one of these cousins is Mini's age (in fact I babysat for her for 3 years when she and Mini were babies and her mom, the leprechaun, was doing her residency - so they grew up together, like twins).

Pat leaves for his annual family trip to Ireland in a few days.  Aunt Leprechaun is from Ireland, so they go every summer for 3 weeks.  Yes,that equates to two trips to Ireland in one summer for half of Pat's family  Yes, they have a money tree in their backyard.  Pat's upcoming trip and our recent Vancouver trip that caused Mini to be away for 10 days has apparently stressed him out.  He fears that she is going to be ill prepared for thte competition.  So . . .


Well this is boring - I basically
already inserted this
text in the body of the post.  I really
 wanted to
have a clip of Mini playing
her fiddle while crying, but imagine how
 big that would have gone over.  Me
 recording her less than happy moment?
 I mean I think she sounded great, but I am
 hardly the trained musician that Pat is.
 Our folks would only invest money
in my Irish dancing career, NOT music
despite how I begged.  Pat was chosen. 
Yeah, dancing - that was money well spent. 
I was like a new born colt threatening to
 kick a judge in the face with
 all of my lack of control.
Me:  Are you crying?

Mini:  Uncle Pat is being crazy.  He wants me to record my tunes and send them to him every night.  He keeps saying, that string better be in tune.  You better not move that finger once.  I am so tired.  No one else (in the band) has to do this.  I just caddied 27 holes (in 85 degree heat).  He thinks I'm not ready.  Why can't I just practice?  I don't want to keep trying to record it perfectly.  I keep messing up when I get to the end.

Me:  Mini, you are tired.  Text him and tell him you are tired.  You worked all day today and you have to babysit directly after you caddy tomorrow (the implied message I thought should be sent to Uncle Pat:  unlike your kids, I work.  A lot).

I refrained from texting Pat.  Instead I texted Coach, who is once again on my team.  He was picking up Curly at dancing after our dinner out.  I requested backup in the form of:  Can I text my brother and say:  My kid is tired and she is practicing a ton and if that isn't good enough for your self-righteous self, then you can go fuck yourself.  

Coach felt Mini should text him herself if she felt like it.  Despite his sensible response, I still almost disregarded his advice and went rogue- in part because of unrelated recent family passively obnoxious issues.  To be shared subsequently.  When will I get to share my Vancouver adventures???

Why does this post look so long?  Intended to be short.  Please comment and tell me how great this post was and that you wouldn't have shortened it at all.  Thanks in advance.


14 comments:

  1. :)
    I like the short variety of cuss words. F is my favorite one too.

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    1. So funny because Reggie figured out how to make his school-issued laptop speak whatever he typed. One morning in the spring, I was making breakfast and his computer said, 'this is Ernie. F, F, F, F, F, F!' It was hilarious. He only typed in the letter F, because when I am trying to show restraint I just start calling out my favorite alphabet letter for strength. There are times though, when the full word is called for.

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  2. Fuck is SUCH a good word. I am so glad we live in a time that it is becoming less and less taboo. WHAT A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE.
    Uncle Pat is pissing ME off and I'm not related to him nor do I know him.
    Tell him to stop this fiddle playing sweatshop he has going on or I will go South Side Irish on his ass.

    Curious, does Leprechaun wife look like a Leprechaun or is it only because she is from Ireland?
    Because if it is the first one, I need pictures.

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    Replies
    1. Oh how I love 'fiddle playing sweatshop' - in a post coming up, I talk about being at my folks house while he is making Mini practice with his daughter. Then she came home and had to do these recordings. Looking back I feel like he was probably bad-mouthing her/rolling his eyes to my 'our-son-is-the-2nd-coming-of-Jesus-Christ' parents. Like, 'I don't know if Mini will be ready!' Puke!!! Coach was Pat's good friend in high school, but after being his bro in law for almost 23 years, Coach sees what an arrogant ass he is. Ed doesn't get in trouble much and when he groans too much about Lad and his issues, Coach looks at me and whines about how he doesn't want Ed to turn into my I-am-better-than-all-you brother. My sis in law is a red head. She has freckles. No joke. But she is not a wee tiny person. I love that you want photos of her.

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    2. By the way, the fact that my brother Pat is pissing you off warms my heart. Maybe that sounds sick, but I grew up in a world where he did not wrong. LITERALLY. He was less than a year younger than me and was the perfect student, athlete, Irish musician. Meanwhile I was glossed over, big time. Still am. Thus, him making my daughter jump thru more fiddle hoops than the other band members and most likely eye rolling to my parents makes me want to scream. Please note though: Mini is so amazing and fun and caring, when his daughter is being left out or having friend issues, Aunt Leprechaun tries to work her magic to get my kid over to their house to spend time with her daughter. Aha, so who is awesome now?

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    3. Repeat after me: YOU ARE SO AWESOME. Even if you aren't a leprechaun. ;)

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  3. Ernie,
    I admire your restraint. This was indeed a great post and it wasn't too long. I'm with Kari. I use fuck for a variety of reasons and it's never let me down. I want to see pictures of what a Leprechaun wife looks like as well! Hang in there and vent whenever you need. It's great therapy and you've got a supportive audience! Mona

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Mona! My real last name is an actual word that can be used in the English language in a variety of ways, not all of them flattering. So, when people raise an eye at my cussing I like to shrug at them and say, 'What the F - I am raising a bunch of (inser real name) Shenanigans. I figure people are going to expect them to swear.'

      As I informed Kari, leprechaun wife of Pat-the-ass is a red head with freckles. She is not a tiny person though and her shoes are not turned up. Ha!

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  4. My first instinct would be the same as yours. Then I think again and filter what I actually said. Great minds...

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    1. Yes, filtering is necessary at times. I am not always strong enough to remember that. I would really like to text or msg or email back some of the people who came to my house to meet with me about babysitting for the upcoming school year who NEVER got back to me. I cleaned my house for these peeps while my kids are home during the summer. Not easy. Anyway, I would like to send them a message saying 'Thanks for showing your true colors as a thoughtful and considerate person and letting me know in a timely manner that you chose someone else to watch your kid. I am relieved to see what you are really like and I happy that I will not be dealing with a rude person like you all school year.' But I cannot do this, because then word will spread that I am the ass. Sigh. (this is a hot topic for me right now!)

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  5. Reading about your brother made ME stressed out! I hope he can be force-fed some chill pills in time.

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    1. Exactly. I will not be traveling with Mini. She will be with him. He is typically Mr. Ha-Ha-funny-guy full of joking around. He's a real laugh a minute. When it comes to music, he is all serious. I hope and pray that she doesn't make a mistake in the competition, because she will not be able to get some distance from him. Even if he says 'no big deal' it is clear that he is intense, and she will crumble.

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  6. Your brother sounds like an ass. And I don't mind really long blog posts. Sometimes, the story needs to be told in it's entirety!

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    1. I agree that he is an ass, and my family thinks the sun shines out of his butt so I am in the minority. I agree, sometimes there just is no way to cut down a story!

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