last minute party panic, enlisting offspring help, painful party foul

Is it only me, or do other people feel like they are on pace to complete all tasks necessary to host a big party UNTIL suddenly go-time is in less than an hour and they find themselves racing the clock?

If this isn't you, please tell me how you pull it off?  No, really, I am listening!  What is your strategy?

If you categorize yourself in the 'where-did my-time-go/why-am-I-not-ready?' category, then you know what it means to shove stacks of paperwork ANYWHERE and then be late to pay bills for weeks.  Coach hates it when I dart up the stairs to shower just as guests are about to arrive.

I really felt like I was going to pull it off for Eddie's grad party.  I had my list.  I stuck to it.  My kids weren't home, which I have decided works out better in the end.  It makes me insane to see them sit around and do nothing (especially because they are responsible for most of the messes I am attending to), so I start hollering at them to do things.  Then they carry a load of laundry upstairs . . . apparently into the great abyss, because THEY NEVER COME BACK.

Exhibit A:  This toy roller coaster got moved
 off of the deck before the party and tossed
 onto the rocks under this tree when the boys
 mowed the lawn.  I MEANT to set it up so
the little party guests could enjoy it.
 Never happened.  Nice sloppy look.

That's right.  In my moment of need, my offspring hide from me.  I think this means I can look forward to years confined to a nursing home in my old age when they can finally HIDE ME.

It is totally counter productive for me to speak to them, let alone try to give them suggestions about how to, oh - I don't know - put dozens of mislaid shoes in lockers in the mudroom.  If they haven't figured that one out by now, it is a lost cause, right?

Another one of my favorites is when I ask them to do something SIMPLE like load waters in the fridge, or juice boxes in a cooler, and they leave the cardboard boxes/plastic wrap tossed around the kitchen floor once the drinks are loaded and call that a job 'done.'

I have stopped responding to their immediate questions when I ask them to pull something from the pantry or the fridge.  They do NOT spend more than 3 seconds 'looking' before they sigh and give me the old, 'Nope, can't find it.  I don't think you have any ketchup.' (or whatever my need du jour is).

Definitely better when they are not home and I can mumble to myself and race around in a constant sweat in order to be ready - or at least try.  One positive for Ed's party was that I did NOT fall onto a high-backed stool in a straddle position after trying to clean kitchen light fixtures over the island.  That was a painful last minute pre-party foul from Mini's graduation last year.

Please share your worst or funniest party foul, and don't forget to inform me how you classify yourself:  always ready and showered well in advance of guests arriving, or panicked and frazzled to the last minute stuffing a bag of ice inside your undergarments because of a step-off-the-island fall ending in an unfortunate straddle.