June 18, 2019

living with a landscaper, bush disposal, and timing of friend invite?

 I live with a self-appointed landscaper, but you would never know it based on the embarrassing disarray of our yard.  I mean maybe you would put two and two together if you drove by and saw Tank unloading someone else's shrubs from a pickup truck and tossing them under a tree in my front lawn.  But you would probably just think:  weird.  Not necessarily, 'Oh, look.  The Shenanigan kid is a landscaper.'

I also keep reminding Tank that he needs to be clear with people about his limitations.  He had Coach drive him to give an estimate one day.  The next day he has me drive to the same place to do the work at this same estimate house.  Um.  It was a million plus dollar home.  I was like, 'Coach  - you know he is out of his league, right?'  This million dollar baby wanted him to build a retaining wall.  He took a p;ass but did the other things on her to-do list. 

On the drive home I was like L-I-M-I-T-A-T-I-O-N-S!!!

Several weeks ago, I slept late.  This was a momentous occasion folks, because I NEVER sleep late.  I was enjoying lounging in my pj's with hair sticking out everywhere and my unattractive glasses (not my cheaters) perched on my nose while sitting at my desktop in the study.  That's when I heard it.

Teen.  Male. Voices.  In my house - not all of these voices were familiar to me.  Shit, company?  Now?  It is not even 9 am on a Sunday.  Me sleeping till a glorious 8:45 IS sleeping late, but it isn't so very late that I would anticipate visitors trolling around my house.

Tank burst into the study and his buddy started to follow him, but must have caught a glimpse of my  holy-Hell-of-a-mess-of-a-slept-in-self and suddenly jerked back into the hallway.  Yes, I was repulsive enough for a visitor to recognize my need for space and a shower and contact lenses and toothpaste, etc.

The round shrub was one of 10 initially
 left here awaiting official disposal.  The
 weeds in the background - those I can
 claim as ours.  Of course.  Honestly,
these shrubs looked better than most of
 the unloved and overgrown stuff in our yard.
 Still, I was not up for a replanting party.  I wish
I would have taken a photo before they were
in the middle of being hauled away . . . 
Tank paces after a big day landscaping.  It is unnerving.  So he was pacing around the study - not much room to pace in there.  He started telling me about all the shrubs he pulled out for a friend of ours.  I was unaware he was even doing work for her.  He meets most of his clients on Next Door.

He said he was starving and he and his buddy were about to head out to another job.  I offered to make them breakfast.  Tank does not bring friends around often - so I jumped at the chance to make his buddy feel at home, I mean how much more at home can you get if your pal's mom is wearing pajamas?  I ran upstairs and pulled a sweatshirt on and tamed my (thinning) mop.

A few days later my mom paid her lawn service
to come and grab the unwanted bushes.  It was the
 am before one of the last days of school.  I made Tank
 race out and help the guys load the truck,
  and pay Nana for her assistance.  (note:  Nana lives
walking distance from us, but she has yet to fire her
 well-loved lawn service.  She's not wrong!)
During the breakfast making, Tank came clean.  After pulling shrubs out of the yard of Mrs. Friend, she wanted to know if he would also dispose of said shrubs.  He said 'sure' and his buddy admitted to me that he was nudging Tank telling him, 'NO- WE DON'T DISPOSE OF SHRUBS.'  So- my casual ware must have made buddy-roped-into-landscaping feel at home enough to rat out Tank to me.  Welcome to the family, Buddy.  You are in good company.  Tank's sibs also often have stories to tell about messes he has gotten himself into, and I don't need to bribe them with french toast to spill the beans..

Tank swore that he would figure it out, but in the meantime all of the shrubs he yanked out of her yard were now tossed unceremoniously under a tree in our front yard.

And I wonder why our neighbors dislike us?


Kari said...

I live with girls, so I am lucky if random girls come walking in the house when I braless and completely unattractive. But now that Anna is 19, there are friends who are boys who just walk in and know our garage code. So I feel you.

If you want, send Tank our way. I hate doing landscaping work and the person who does like doing it works 60 hour weeks. INSERT EYEROLL.

Ernie said...

My 3 youngest have 3 bests friends who are all siblings, so they are like family and they have seen my house and me in less than fabulous circumstances. As far as needing someone to attend to the yard - I hear you. I have 4 sons - who do mow the lawn when Coach begs them to, but mostly they are out making real dough from their caddying. I take care of the inside of the house, and I am just getting by there - so the outside sucks. Big time.

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