May 7, 2019

psycho babel, and a very tough decision

Before Ed decided to major in business, he thought psychology was the path he would follow.  He is taking a psychology class and he is really, really liking it.  He loves to ponder why people do what they do.

definition that really means: 
I think my kid is all that.
This class has allowed him to come up with little labels for people in his life . . . namely - me!  The one I find most interesting is that he thinks I am suffering from 'false uniqueness' as it applies to his college search.

I am curious to know if anyone else suffers from this issue, so allow me to describe.  Eddie believes that I feel like no college is good enough for him.  Well, . . . not exactly - but close.

Let me preface this with:  I am not one of those nutty moms (at least not in this way) who thinks her kid is perfect and he can do no wrong and everyone should see that he is the best.  He is a good kid, a good student, a hard worker.  I did one college search with Lad, who has lots going for him like water polo awesomeness, but his school work wasn't really his thing.  So, I thought this time around the search would be . . . different.  

I thought Ed's college search would be FUN!  An adventure.  Where would he end up?  What school would be lucky enough to have him?  I figured it would be exciting.


His initial top choice school, Wake Forest, was so expensive that he opted to not even apply - even after we invested time and money to go look at it.  Ouch.  Other schools fell in that same category.  A few he applied to in case he got that full-ride scholarship, because that scholarship can be applied at certain select schools that were too pricey to consider without the full ride deal.  Then he didn't get the full ride.  Ouch.  (see, not fun.  Too many 'ouch' feelings).

I felt like the college search was long and drawn out and complicated by so many factors.  Initially I envisioned a school being blown away by Ed and being excited to have him at their school.  If he chooses Grid School, then that will be the situation.  BUT - 8 hours away?  No fun.  Plus there are layers - like if he goes to Grid he will not be able to apply for the full-ride deal next year.  They have reduced tuition substantially, but it is far from free.  Well, technically he can apply for the free ride even if he is at Grid, but if he was to be awarded it for the last 3 years - he would not want to transfer to a school that accepts that scholarship.  

The real bummer is that while we didn't have the financial need component necessary for the full ride, he hit all the other marks:  leadership, strong character, great work ethic, etc.  I admit that it is a tad frustrating that a few other kids that we know got the scholarship, when they may have had some financial need, but they lacked the leadership aspect (quite the opposite in fact).  One recipient did not really even appear to have a financial need issue, but of course I cannot say that for certain.  I do know that he is an only child, so the family's resources could be called upon to stretch whereas our resources often just scoff at us when we beg them to stretch:  'Are you kidding?'

Lad plays water polo at college.  Division 1.  That is cool.  (Not terribly helpful with tuition, because water polo does not generate enough income to build scholarship funds, so school is not cheap).  I thought the full-ride deal would be Ed's 'thing.'  There I was, all focused on something that was unique, but apparently falsely.  

Anyone else struggle with false uniqueness.  Anyone want me to stop posting about this college search?  OK, I heard that.  I will move on.  Oh, but first - he chose . . . . X.  Not Grid as some of you thought he should.  There are valid reasons. 


Beth (A Moms Life) said...

Wake Forest??!!!! I could have checked on him for you. But, yes - EXPENSIVE!!!!!! I know several people that work that work there - a coach, an economics professor and a fundraiser! Too bad Ed doesn't play women's field hockey - I might have been able to help him out! I enjoy reading about the college search. I am about to head down that path and the more I know the better.

Ernie said...

Yes, I would have been sending him over for home cooked meals. It sorta killed me when he didn't even apply after we went and looked. I didn't need to be part of that bribery college admitting scandel- if only I could have had access to that kinda cash to use for legit tiotion. Tell me this time next year if you can still use words 'enjoy' and 'college search' in the same sentence.

Ernie said...

So I meant the below comment as a reply to you. Blaming the tiny phone screen I am using while 'watching' volleyball. My kid not in the game so TRYING to make good use of my time. If both boys were still playing volleyball, they would both be playing. At the same time. In short 55 min games. Don't get me started.

Gigi said...

College searching - and the inevitable wait to see if they are accepted - is SO painful; so much so that I still remember the agony about seven years later!

Ernie said...

I agree - it begins with the excitement to see what unfolds, but the stress is a real downer. Two down - four to go over here. Since both Lad and Ed were last minute decisions, I think we are due for a 'I know what I am doing in the fall' graduate next. Although - that would be Tank, and the world is that kid's oyster. He might own a company by then and skip the college scene.