May 17, 2019

How'd ya like them apples? with a Barbie arm

We next find our super hero (yes, that’s me - duh) driving home from Luigi's shop on a crazy adrenaline high.  It occurred to me that this meeting Luigi was hosting under the premise that he was an actual contractor and not just a crook with an Italian accent was quite possibly still going on.  (If you didn't read the last post:  this is the meeting that I barged into and shared with his clients aka 'the blinkers' that he sucks).

I marched into my kitchen and invited Mini to join me as I returned to Luigi's.  I actually hoped to snag Tank as my impulsive yet comedic heavy, but I forgot he was out on a driver’s lesson.  I threw my dinner and a piece of paper and a sharpie in the car and we were off.  When I described our mission, Mini moaned a little that she feared I was going to get in trouble.  Me:  bring it!

I had her text Eddie instructing him to call me when he finished up at volleyball practice in case I needed backup.  Luigi’s place is fairly close to the high school.

On the paper, I had Mini write my name and number along with the name and number of the saleswoman, Kat, at the appliance store who highly recommended Luigi.  Kat, who so regrets this recommendation now, can fill the blinking dudes in on the elderly couple who was swindled out of $150,000 by Luigi if they want more info.

My big master plan was to slip this paper to the blinkers as they exited Luigi’s office. 

Hmm, I wonder whose car that is?  
I parked far enough away from Luigi’s place so that he could not see my ever so inconspicuous great white van.  After 10 seconds of sitting there, I saw a blinker standing in the window in the store front next to Luigi’s place.  The window is connected to Luigi’s showroom window, but it is separated from the main room by a wall.  Sir-blinks-a-lot was standing in front of this other window making a phone call.  

I hopped out of the van and grabbed my informative paper.  The guy nodded at me a bit and then ended his phone call.  There was no way to get him the paper without going thru the showroom on the other side of the wall.  Not that I was afraid to do that, but I sensed that Sir-blink-a-lot- also now obviously a Sir-nods-a-lot type of guy- didn't want to be public in his acceptance of info about Luigi.

Me:  (pointing at the paper) Take this!  You can call me or Kat for more information.

Sir-Blink-a-lot:  more nodding.  (maybe I haven't mentioned that these fellows were most likely middle eastern.  I wondered if the language barrier was an issue). 

The other foreign blinker from the initial table meeting that I busted in on entered the room and the blinker who nods a lot pointed at my paper and I guess he told him to take a picture of it.  Maybe Sir-Nods-a-lot's phone is only for important calls.  He walked away and the other blinker nonchalantly took his phone out and snapped a pic of my informative paper.

At this point I wanted to imitate Matt Damon in 'Good Will Hunting' and holler:  'How'd ya like them apples?  I got her number!' - but I think ending with:  'I'm sharing numbers to fill you folks in on that pathetic man next door' would have been more appropriate.
from Giphy
I hopped back in the car while pumping my fist to Mini.  We stopped to get gas and Eddie called.  I was shoveling my dinner in while the gas was pumping and I was trying to update him on how I had entered a phone booth while he was in volleyball practice and exited with superpowers.

Ed:  Stop shouting, and are you eating something?!  Stop it - I cannot understand you.  What?!

Ed's friend in the background:  Dude, who are you talking to?

Ed:  My mother!

So now Ed's friends know that their suspicions are true and that I am a nutty lady.

I swallowed my bite of sloppy joe's because I am nothing if not a gourmet - hey, I make them from scratch and they are crowd-pleasing delicious.  I filled Ed in on the details and let him know his services were not necessary.  I pulled up next to him at a light with sloppy joe's smeared on my face and I demonstrated my boxing moves despite the fact that I am stricken with a Barbie arm.  I know my Rocky moves really impressed him because he flipped me off.  Mini just sat there shaking her head.

I came home and started kick boxing around the kitchen, which made the kids think I had really flipped my lid.  I workout daily, but I DO NOT take kick boxing class.  As a retired Irish dancer, I am still able to kick my feet up . . . it just isn't very pretty.  Never really was in my case, but that is another story.

So much adrenaline and no more meetings on my agenda to interrupt.  Barbie arm cannot be relied on to knock anyone out, so best that I reign it in.  This tennis elbow injury (and no, I don't play tennis OR kick box) makes me walk around without moving my arm past a 90 degree angle, so fixing hair and inserting a contact lens is a painful process.  Luigi is damn lucky that I wasn't fully functioning.


Beth (A Moms Life) said...

I love that he flipped you off! That really made me laugh out loud!

Kari said...

So. Many. Things.
I make killer sloppy joes too, if I do say so myself. But now I want your recipe.

Also, I think I have tennis elbow but I don't play tennis either.