Weeks before Easter, maybe even a month, my sister Marie texted my brothers and I to see who would be in town for Easter. So, that's what I have been reduced to? Not counted as a sister, but as an out-of-the-loop brother? Well, then. I cannot say I am surprised. I KNOW that my two older sisters talk daily or pretty close to that. Honestly, I stopped trying to be included awhile ago. I only now wish that I had stopped trying/caring even years prior. There were stages to my demotion as a sister:
The sister 2.5 years older than me, Marie, well. . . she found me funny. She was bookish and an intellect and she could chuckle at my antics, but that was about it.
My parents contributed to my not being included in the sister thing by NEVER including me in sister things. They lumped my tomboy ass with my brothers and acted like the few years that separated my sisters and I was more like a decade. We had a local girl cousin born smack right in the middle of Ann and Marie, so the three of them had outings like roller skating and sleepovers. I still vividly remember when they went to see Grease (I was about 7 or 8) and I was left home. To cry. Alone.
As a young mom: Ann corrected me for doing mom stuff she didn't agree with: 'Ernie, don't do that.' I babysat for her kids from time to time so that she could continue to work as a nurse a few times a month. Each time she returned from a shift, she would ask me if I wanted her to pay me. AWKWARD. I put Coach thru physical therapy school. I was staying home with my little guys (only Lad and Ed up to this point probably). We were scraping to get by. She was financially doing quite well. Like, bordering on wealthy. No joke. I didn't want her to pay me, I NEEDED her to pay me. But the asking, well that sucked.
Marie was out of state mostly. We were able to converse on the phone and chat about things our kids were up to. We more or less talked at each other. She still gravitated towards Ann.
My parents shrugged off Ann's rudeness. At a restaurant once when Mom and Ann and I went to lunch after a shopping outing (my mother in law was visiting and offered to babysit), Mom teased Ann when she reached for her purse. 'Oh, is lunch on you?' I laughed, and Ann spat these words at me: 'You would like that, huh, Ernie? You use me for my money. I don't even know why you are planning to go to Pat's wedding (our brother was about to get married in Ireland) if you can't afford it.' I manged to get to the bathroom before I became an emotional basket case. Later, Mom made an excuse for her and admitted that she felt bad for how Ann treated me, but there was no changing the way Ann treated me. And by the way - I was NOT using her for her money, any more than she was using me for my babysitting services. Duh. She would never have kept working if she didn't have a family member to watch her kids - her words. Mind blowing, right?
I promise this sort of relates to Easter . . . .