bad timing - unforgettable vacay memories

On more than one occasion a group of girls
came over and joined in the family (minus mom)
 volleyball game.  Eddie was OK when they could
 play, but he was a little annoyed when girls
 jumped in but could not volley.
 I don't think the volleyball game was
what really attracted them.  Wink, wink. 
 Two strangers are playing here
 with Ed and Coach and their girlfriend is watching.    

Coach and I drove separate cars to Michigan.  The older boys wanted to caddie on Sunday, and the younger kids and I wanted to get to the beach asap.  Two cars meant we could also lug extra beach accessories like Can-Jam and Spike-ball.  

On our way to the beach, Mini jotted something on a piece of paper and slipped it to me.  ‘Got my period.’  Swell.  Of course she couldn’t have told me this 10 minutes earlier when we were still standing in our house and able to pack accordingly?  

This was Mini's first period that threatened beach time.  I assured her we would figure it out.  

One morning we planned to head to the beach fairly early.  I had just worked out and still needed to shower.  The natives were getting restless.  Mini had agreed to try utilizing products that would allow her to enter the lake without incident.  In order to stay on schedule, Coach had to accompany her to the local Walmart to make ‘the purchase’.  I suggested ‘slender’ - not sure if that terminology is outdated, or if Walmart just doesn’t carry that size, but they spent an insane amount of time shopping and eventually purchased ‘sport.’  

Curly enjoyed the statues set
 up all around downtown St. Joe

Let’s just say that when Mini and I closed the door behind us in the ONE TINY BATHROOM available to us, it was hard to focus on the task at hand.  This was one of those bathrooms with a toilet and tub/shower only.  One person could barely turn around, let alone two of us.  Voices -  including sibling skirmishes - were hard to block out.  I could barely hear myself think and the atmosphere was not condusive for gently delivering THESE instructions.  Overall it was an epic fail.

I assured Mini that this was not the ideal situation and not to be discouraged.  Besides, the beach offered lots of other activities like sand castle building, volleyball, reading, etc.

Later, Curly scoffed at her sis for not joining her in the water to jump the waves, ‘You aren’t fun anymore!’  Direct hit.

This reminded me of the first time I was informed about the purpose of a tampon.  A few days after my 8th grade graduation, the entire class was invited to a kid's mansion to a pool party.  My friends and I were not part of the 'in' crowd (we weren't even cool enough to be part of the 'out' crowd) and we were thrilled to be included.

Imagine my disgust when I got my period the day before the party.  'No!!!!'  I was moping around at my best friend Meg's house.  I believe that I spent more time at Meg's house than I did at my own house, so when her mom asked us what was up Meg glanced at me.  I nodded, giving her permission to spill the beans.

Meg's mom walked into the her master bathroom and came out with her hands behind her back. She asked me if I had considered using a tampon.  While she tossed this new vocab word my way and its explanation, she simultaneously whipped her hand from behind her back.  She was wielding a wrapped tampon like a little mini sword - slicing away my childhood innocence in a nanosecond.

Thanks to my yet to be diagnosed vasovagal tendencies, I got all sweaty and proceeded to sort of faint across her bed.  Needless to say I wore a bathing suit with shorts to the pool party.  My self-consciousness remained in high alert all night - but I managed.  Let's face it, I was wearing huge glasses, and a twisted version of my once cute Dorothy Hamel haircut (destroyed by my mom and her straight-edge-razor-blade budget cut).  It mattered little that I wore shorts with a bathing suit.

Mini participated in volleyball, cam-jam, and spike-ball.  She read, ate, and built in the sand.  What are we women, if not champions of making the most of a lousy situation?

Can you share an 'oh, crap - why must I have my period now?' nightmare?