June 7, 2018

Life in the nuthouse in a nutshell

I am exhausted.  Possibly too tired to write in complete sentences.  Just to keep you in the loop, I am going to share some bullet points regarding what has hit the fan today.  Operative word: today.  All in one day.

Background:  We are hosting Mini’s 8th grade grad party at our home on Sunday, June 10th.  (If you are in the area stop by.  I am making mostaccioli again.  We know what that means.  Loads of leftovers).  Last weekend I attended my 25th year college reunion.  So fun.  Friday (tomorrow) I drive to Indianapolis for Irish dancing.  Staying over in a hotel.  Driving home Saturday late afternoon -the instant my last dancer walks off the stage.  Lots to do to prepare for Sunday.

Mini ended up getting invited to a graduation pool party for tomorrow afternoon.  The party is at the same time that we are supposed to be in Indy.  She opted to skip the competition on Friday.  I can’t get my $60 registration fees back, but that’s OK.  We have a very prosperous money tree in our yard.  Still going to Indy, because she and Curly will dance on Saturday.

If you look carefully you
can see the handle of the
measuring cup sticking
out of the coffee mug. 
No idea how I saw that.
I woke up and spent a bit of time submitting our mind-blowing kitchen story to a news program to see if the news group wanted to expose our contractor for being an unreliable shiest-er.  Not sure if they will call me back.  We do have running water, etc. so I imagine there are more desperate stories than ours.  Update to follow.

I decided to make pumpkins bread for the party.  I always make lots so when my kids eat half of what I bake, there is still enough for the party.  Tank recently unloaded the dishwasher.  When he doesn’t know where things go, he sticks them in weird places.  Imagine my frustration when I searched high and low for my measuring cups.  I have 2 sets, but had no 1/2 cup, and only one 1/3 cup and one 1 cup.  How is this possible?  Tank had no idea where he put them.  Finally I spied a 1/2 cup in a coffee mug on a very high shelf.  Life with Tank.

I whipped up pumpkin bread.  Stuck 3 loaves in the upper oven and 3 loaves in the lower oven.  Then Mini and I raced out the door.  Bikini bottom shopping and Costco.

Last night I took Mini bathing suit shopping.  She has a bikini that probably still fits her, but we can’t find it.  Also missing:  her cover-up and Curly's cover-up.  I feel like maybe we misplaced a bin, but 3 items don't fill a bin.  Where the Hell did those things go?  No one warned me that teen bikinis aren't bought as a package deal.  Bottom line (hee hee - get it?):  found a great top, but not a decent bottom.

Quite the resiliant little recipe if
 it can cook way too long and still be edible.

Is this what they call a super food?
We ran to Macy's to look for solid bikini bottoms that didn't have the dental floss thing happening.  On our way to Macy's we called Lad and told him to take the loaves out of the oven when the timer beeped.  We secretly called Curly and asked her to make sure Lad did this.  We failed to mention that both ovens were being utilized.

Raced thru Costco.  Got home and found that 3 loaves of pumpkin bread were still in the lower oven.  It was still on.  They cooked for an extra 45 minutes.  No lie.  The kids found them still edible.  Have at it, I said.  Just keep your paws off the 'good' loaves for the party.

Lad and I got into it because I thought it would've been less of a big deal if he had turned the oven off.  He said he tried.  'I hit a bunch of buttons.'  I admitted that it wasn't his fault.  I wasn't clear about the 2 ovens.  If the oven doesn't turn off though, maybe a phone call is necessary.  These kids call me for the stupidest shit.  But not 'how do you turn the oven off?'  I guess I should be relieved that the house wasn't burned down.

Lad lost his cool because he got an email saying his prerequisite wasn't accepted for a summer school class that he HAS TO TAKE.  So frustrating because I told him a million time several months ago to get registered.  Anyway, he swore like a sailor in front of the little guys I sit for.  Then he took a car to drive to the school and take an aptitude test to see if he could get in the class.

Oh yeah, this was my last day of babysitting for the school year.  Praise the Lord.  In my spare time all week, I have been printing photos and sticking them in an album for the two boys I am not watching next year.  That is a whole other story.  Relief doesn't begin to cover it.

I found out later that while Mini and I were running errands, Lad and Tank had an altercation.  Tank's face bears the evidence of this nonsense.  Lad was supposedly ticked off that Tank was sucking down a juice box.  I do try to get my offspring to avoid drinking the juice boxes I have on hand while they are SITTING IN THE HOUSE.  Get up and pour yourself a glass of juice.  I like to reserve juice boxes for times when we are on the go.  I didn't ask Lad to police his brother though.  Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

I texted Coach when I found an empty bottle of Jim Beam in the pantry.  I was super surprised when he texted back that this was his doing. Seriously?  Is there something I need to know?

In my spare time I ran to a few more places in search of a better fitting bathing suit bottom in the right shade of green.  If Mini didn't need to wear it to this confounded grad party tomorrow, I would be much more chill about it.

Coach and I were out Wed night at a pizza place celebrating the end of an era.  His office coordinator is leaving after 15 years.  So earth shattering.  Nevermind his need for her in his business, she occasionally drove my kids places and always ran intel for me as needed, ie:  'Coach told me you guys were going to Scotland.' (Back when I wasn't sure he understood the travel associated with the World Championship qualifying round his office coordinator shared this useful tidbit with me).

Two other leftover boxes from
last night.  One contains the
lame salad.  The other held
one remaining regular pizza slice.  

My GF pizza box was totally gone.
Anyway Coach said there would be salad.  I had barely eaten anything all day (this was Thursday, still busy).  The salad consisted of iceburg lettuce - barely broken off the head.  They tossed a bit of tomato and cucumber in for good measure.  I ordered gluten free pizza, which is something I haven't had in over a year.  I took home the leftovers.

Just like the pizza.  No one fessed up.
This afternoon I didn't have time to make myself a salad for lunch.  I decided I would have a piece of my leftover pizza.  It was gone.  No joke.  One of my mean-spirited, I-must-eat-everything-in-sight teenage boys ate it. 

Later - I discovered gum, or toothpaste, or Airheads candy or something equally gross and sticky on my family room carpet.

I am sure there is more, but I am worried that I might collapse and hit my head on my keyboard.  Oh, Lad squeaked out a passing grade on the aptitude test so he can take the calculus class that he needs.  Of all the things that needed to go right today, that was the one I would have voted for.

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