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May 7, 2018

'rare breed' now knows I am nuts (part 2 of 'Oh, Tuesday - but with a better name)

I texted my neighbor when I noticed that I had failed to put Curly's sandwich in her lunch box.  This neighbor is very nice -a rare breed in our neighborhood.  Her kids don’t take the bus.  She drives them everyday.  I asked her if her daughter could deliver Curly’s sandwich to school for me.  She texted:  No problem.  They would leave soon and would stop to grab it.

When my phone started to ring and I saw that it was Eddie, my heart skipped a beat.  Phone calls that occur 5 to 10 minutes after a teen has driven away make me cringe.  Remember when Lad was in an accident on the way to school?  Well, I sure as Hell do.  Car totaled (which isn’t saying much because it was a few tune ups shy of being sent to the junkyard anyway).  No one hurt, thankfully. 

Eddie was not in an accident.  Phew.  ‘Hey, can you look around and see if you see the yellow card that I need to get into the SAT test?’  WHAT?!  I had a baby in my arm.  I looked at the countertop.  Nope.  I looked in Ed’s locker in the mudroom.  Nope.  I jogged upstairs and looked on the bathroom countertop.  Nope.  I checked out his desk, his bed, and the floor of his room.  Nope.  ‘OK, I must have left it in the car.  I will go look.’

I got busy with the junior high kids.  Lunches, breakfast, and ordering them to pitch in with the dishwasher, etc.  I posted Reg at the front door so he could look for the rare breed neighbor who was going to pick up Curly’s renegade sandwich.  A few minutes later I noticed that a text had snuck thru undetected.  I never heard the text alert.  Shock.  

Text from Eddie: ‘Any luck yet?’  

The illusive yellow card.
WHAT??!!!  I was unaware that the yellow card was still missing and more specifically that it was still supposed to be on my radar.  Shit.  It was getting late.  How was he going to be admitted into the test without his yellow card?  

I stepped back into the only other room in the house that is worse than the kids’ bathroom:  the mudroom.  The yellow card WAS there.  It wasn’t in Eddie’s locker where I had initially looked.  It was on the shelf in Lad’s locker.  Lad’s locker gets  repurposed during the school year to host all the tots’ gear.  Ed must have set in on Lad’s shelf as he was getting his shoes on and yelling at Tank to get his butt in the car.  

Mini appeared in the kitchen dressed for school with wet hair.  I handed her the baby and hopped in the car without my shoes on.  ‘Her bottle is warming by the sink.  Feed it to her.’  I dialed Ed and started to back down the driveway.  

That’s when I saw rare breed neighbor pull up.  This is the neighbor who is under the impression that it is too hard for me to leave the house to deliver a sandwich to Curly.  I felt like a buffoon.  I rolled down my window and waved the yellow card at her and tried to explain the ordeal utilizing inaudible mumble jumble.  I simultaneously laid on my horn signaling to Reg that he should run out of the side entrance with the sandwich vs. the front door.  House situated on the corner working against us here.

I had barely dealt with my wet hair after my quick shower, because TUESDAY.  I wasn’t wearing any shoes and I was desperately trying to reach Ed.  But waving a yellow card, mouthing words that rare breed neighbor could not possibly hear, and laying on my horn totally completed the raving lunatic look that really suits me.  So, that was cool.

I took off towards the high school waiting for Ed to respond to my ‘where am I meeting you’ text.  He called me.  ‘Nevermind.  I don’t need it.’  WHAT??!!  (Yes, again with the WHAT?!!!).  He learned that he could be admitted into the test without the infamous yellow card.  Swell.  This is one of my more responsible kids.  

I did a u-turn (never graceful in the great white 12 seater, former airport shuttle van).  I walked back in the house where Mini was giving baby a bottle.  ‘Wow!  That was fast!’  This from an honor student.  A typical round trip to the high school is about 14 minutes.  I was gone less than 2.  ‘Um, yeah.  I only drove a few blocks away.  Ed didn’t need the card.’  

Remember:  my speeding days are a thing of the past.  I wish crazy Tuesdays would be history too.

4 comments:

  1. You know your neighbor thinks you are insane, right? :)

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  2. Honestly, the chaos you described didn’t even phase me that morning. How could anyone at the center of your whirlwind not be crazy sometimes?! Crazy, I don’t mind. I knew you were nice when you brought us cookies when we moved in, and nice matters more!

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  3. Ha! Thank goodness I can bake a damn good batch of cookies. Smooths out the rough patches, and boy do we have those. Um, an extra cookie delivery if you can figure out who called the city to complain about the gutters that were still in our yard after they hauled away the dumpster. Fell off my radar because to me the construction wasn't (ISN'T) done, but really!? Who called and whined about it?!

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