April 6, 2018

top 10 reasons I steer clear of the kids' bathroom

Entering the kids’ bathroom is not an activity I take lightly.  It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that if they want to live like undomesticated, uncivilized beings from some low-budget sci-fi film, then avoiding the kids' bathroom (the hall bath) is my best coping mechanism.  

It is better for me if I don’t witness their filth.  It appears in many forms:  
     10.  their mislaid trash (perhaps the tiny, typical-bathroom-sized bin isn't wide enough for them and they regularly miss the target), 
     9.  their poor aim (speaking of missing the target . . . 4 boys, people.  FOUR), 
     8.  their overflowing garbage bin (why they refuse to grasp that they shouldn't empty large items into a tiny garbage pail is way beyond my comprehension.  Often times they clean their rooms - only when ordered multiple times, mind you- and they discard old birthday party loot bags, shoe boxes, mounds of partially used construction paper, broken sport bottles, and 83 wadded up Kleenexes into this tiny, meant-for-bathroom-trash-only bin),
    7.  their toothpaste spittoon competitions (unless there is a more reasonable explanation for toothpaste spit splattering ALL OVER one side of the mirror.  I do recognize that the lopsided spitting issue is most likely related to one culprit, but I have yet to install cameras-this is a bathroom, after all- to determine who this might be.  I have my theories), 
The ledge in their shower . . . 4 of these bottles are empty. 
4!!!  Guess how often they use 'Daily Shower'? 
I refuse to show you the overflowing garbage or the state of the
soap scum.  I have standards.  My children don't, but I do.
     6.  their empties (removing an empty shampoo or conditioner container from the shower stall is sac-religious to our offspring.  There could be 3 or 4 family-size plastic container shoved in the corner of their shower and NO ONE cares  Not proud.  Just saying), 
     5.  their 67 hairbrushes (yes, and only two hairbrush users), 
     4.  their littering of hair ties/scrunchies/bows (again, easily deduced -so finger pointing by the brothers is perfectly acceptable here, but like I've said - their tolerance for junk everywhere is incredibly high, so the boys never complain), 
I admit, this photo was taken awhile ago
- the situation has improved slightly. 
People those are all TOOTHBRUSHES!
 Not sure how clueless Coach and I must
 have been to allow this entire drawer to be filled
 with barely to overly used toothbrushes.
 Since this photo, I have made the
box of spare toothbrushes
 MUCH less accessible to the
 freaky children we live with. 
     3.  their new toilet paper roll -not replaced on the wall, but rolling around in the general vicinity of the toilet, 
     2.  their multitude of toothbrushes - no explanation, (Coach and I both insist that we were allotted one toothbrush when we were growing up, and by-golly it proved sufficient, we struggle with how our kids manage to lam on to more than one toothbrush and NEVER toss out the older one, AND quickly become unable to identify a toothbrush that was once theirs - who are these people and who invited them to live with such civilized parents?)
     1.  and their balled-up dirty laundry - heaps of it (because reaching a forearm thru the laundry room door directly next to the bathroom might show real attention to detail). 

That sums it up.  This is why I rarely enter their bathroom space.  I make them clean it.  It's a 6 week rotation when Laddie is home.  When he isn't, a turn pops up for each kid every 5 weeks.  Everyone has to do it.  I really thought they would start to be neater in general, knowing that in the blink of an eye they would be in there dealing with the grossness.  

Nothing deters them though.  NOTHING. 


Gigi said...

Children are disgusting creatures; there's no doubt about it. My husband? While not disgusting simply CANNOT brush his teeth, wash his hands or whatever without splashing water ALL over the mirror - it makes me insane.

And about that drawer...we have drawers that narrow in our bathrooms - they are useless. What genius thought that would be useful storage for the homeowner?

Ernie said...

Agreed. We just replaced the vanity in the first floor bathroom since they were doing the kitchen. They could have done a kitchen cabinet, but it would've been a bit deeper than a normal bathroom vanity. Coach brushed his teeth in that bathroom before going to work super early, so I let him decide. He opted for a regular depth bathroom vanity. I don't like the drawer configuration, but they aren't THAT narrow.

Beth Cotell said...

Oh my goodness!!! The toothpaste! It's like they have a competition to see who can get the most of it on the mirror and on the counter and in the sink. And then it just stays in the sink. Don't they use water when they're brushing their teeth? Can't they just wash the extra toothpaste sludge down the drain? It's maddening!

Ernie said...

So true. My crew has doesn’t like to deal with the huge family size toothpaste that they get all gunky, so they come in the master bedroom and steal our toothpaste. Makes Coach insane!