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June 28, 2017

5 MORE examples of evidence that Lad has confused our home with a dorm

I tried.  Really.  It felt like weeks that I maintained my cool.  I could be wrong.  I allowed the kid some space to transition back to our home life from college.  I kept my mouth shut.  Well, I did open my mouth when I utilized deep breathing exercises.  They don't tell you when you prepare to give birth, that these breathing exercises will come in handy again when your little darling arrives home from college.

Eventually, I lost my cool.  If you haven't read my post about the first five frustrations that made me begin to come unglued, then check them out so you understand where I am coming from.   

The next 5:

6.  LATE NIGHT BATHROOM SNACKING:  First, eating in the bathroom - gross.  I awoke one morning a few weeks ago to part of a croissant on the bathroom floor.  I always hesitate when I discover odd objects on the bathroom floor.  Since it was early, I stood there bent over, squinting, trying to assess the situation.  Yep, upon closer inspection I decided it was a huge ripped off part of a croissant.  Stop eating in the bathroom, I wanted to scream-but didn't.  The culprit and a few other family members were still sleeping.  I assumed my message might be unwelcome.  Lad had peeled the top off this beautiful pastry and then dropped it on the floor.  IN THE BATHROOM.  I had to question whether or not he was sober at the time.  He claimed he was.  Coach made a good point - the kid has always eaten in every room of the house and left a trail, so he didn't believe that alcohol was suddenly part of the formula.  I wanted to believe him.  I certainly don't want Lad driving if he has been drinking.

6.5.  LEFTOVERS:  This one is somewhere between late night snacking and staying up half the night - so I am labeling it '6.5'.  Lad pulled some leftovers out of the fridge late one night after he was out with his friends.  After he ate them (at least this activity took place in the kitchen), he neglected to return the container with the rest of the food to the fridge.  Ugh!!!  Fortunately, Coach leaves for work crazy early.  Since it was most likely around 2 am when Lad was inhaling the leftovers that I planned to feed the family another night for dinner, I decided that the food hadn't been ruined.  It does irk me when this guy helps himself to food that I DEPEND on to satisfy a dinner requirement.  Make a sandwich, toast a bagel, eat a banana, pour a bowl of cereal!!!  Mess with my leftovers, then you create the menu plan for our family. 

7.  WE STILL LIKE TO SLEEP:  Ah, youth.  I vaguely remember keeping late hours in my college years.  Not so much the case anymore.  If you recall, Lad's transcripts left us scratching our heads, and feeling queasy.  Two classes of summer school became his new reality by Memorial weekend.  Hello, summer.  Honestly, summer school has been kind of a godsend.  Before he started taking two classes at the junior college, he thought it was his mission in life to socialize with his friends every night until WHENEVER.  My house is not a dorm rule #7 - we can't be waiting for the garage door to go up at all hours to be sure you are home safely.  We also prefer to not listen to you bang around the house when you arrive home.  AND stop sleeping on the basement couch.  We just bought you a new mattress over spring break.  Use it.

Lad's hair is currently very long. 
This taken when 
it was fairly tame.
It was long over spring 
break when he requested 
I cut it. Now it is several 
inches longer than this.
8.  NEWS FLASH- WE PAY FOR WATER:  While he cares little about returning to college with a comforter that hasn't been laundered (infraction #3), his personal hygiene is a huge priority . . . confusingly so.  The boy has not had a haircut in several months.  Since he isn't investing in any product for his mangy mane, he wakes up and showers BEFORE he works out.  This mindset baffles us.  I can only assume this process temporarily helps groom his locks.  Guess how thrilled Coach and I are when he hops back in for a water-wasting second shower of the day after he returns from exercising, or caddying?  Oh, and he doesn't believe in limiting these record-breaking showers.  Coach finally mandated that if Lad insisted on getting clean more than once a day, he must utilize the fitness center's facilities for one of these sessions.   

Just be glad you
 can't smell this pic.
9.  NEED VS. WANT:  His room has a smell.  I admit that historically, I have smelled worse odors in that space than what is currently brewing in there, but it is a foul smell nonetheless.  It can best be described as a musty, damp, sweaty smell.  Lad spends any available time in his day (when he isn't at summer school, playing water polo, caddying, working in the bag-room, or studying) devoted to his lengthy workout routine.  He visits the gym for hours at a time, because he is preparing to play division 1 water polo in the fall.  Meanwhile he skates out of any typical home responsibilities like 'rid your room of that smell' because he has a 'NEED' to go to the gym.  We disagree on need vs want. 

Consequences are tough to enforce for a kid who is bigger than both me and Coach put together.  He is also never home.  Most of his activities are approved and necessary, so hard to limit those.  His social life has been mostly interrupted since he began summer school, so can't take that away.

I have left the best, mind-blowing incident for last.  Well, I guess I should preface that with:  I  hope this most offensive ridiculousness IS the last.  Tune in soon for #10. 

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