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February 8, 2017

Our trip to Arizona: Ernie goes braless and no one will notice


Later that evening, after a torturous landing thanks to the fluid in my ears, I experienced a moment of clarity.  I looked at Coach.  'I have no bra packed.'  He looked at me confused.  'What?'

FAVORITE BRA-CAMI BY COOBIE!
I explained, 'I'm not wearing a bra, and I forgot to pack one.  I'm wearing a cami with a built in bra.'  Coach is no undergarment expert, so even after I described my situation - to him it was as clear as the difference between underwire and lightly lined.  

If I was Oprah, this bra-cami combo deal would be on my 'favorite things' list.  Hands down.  I have it in two colors.  They are my staples.  In the winter, it serves as an added layer of warmth on my always-cold torso and I enjoy a day without bra straps rubbing on my dry skin.  I was sporting one under the tie-dye top because I needed a cami under it anyway.  A more voluptuous person could pull off the tie-dye flowy shirt without a cami, but it sags in all the wrong places on me.  Why not eliminate another undergarment and wear the combo bra-cami?  So freeing!

       TIE-DYE TOP WITH BLACK BRA-CAMI BECAUSE NOT ENOUGH CLEAVAGE TO PULL OFF THIS SHIRT

I'm a flat chested chick.  I make no apologies for wearing a size A cup.  It's never been a dream of mine to be more well endowed.  If I could upgrade any part of me, it would be my thin, awful hair - for sure!  My crappy head of hair is a constant source of angst with me.  My tiny boobs, not so much.  

Still, who the heck forgets to pack a bra?  On a short trip like this, I would normally be able to get away with the same bra I wore on the plane, especially since I hoped to be sitting in a bathing suit most days. It didn't help that with all of my running to doctors and grabbing last minute naps, I hadn't decided what to war until a moment before we walked out the door.  

I recounted the outfits I believed that I had packed.  My wardrobe for the week was kind of a blur.  Between the boys needing to be picked up by Gretta, inhaling a dinner during lunch time so I could just get by with a salad at the airport, the threat of clown killers, and a ten minute verbal instructions conversation I neglected to give Coach's office-manager-morning-babysitter in advance, I scrambled.  Big time.  
WE DID STOP AT TARGET TO BUY A BRA, BUT I MANAGED TO GET BY WITHOUT IT,                                       SO IT WILL GO BACK TO TARGET.

The short sleeve dress had black in it, donning an exposed black bra-cami would work.  Check.  The soft pink sweater with the cut-outs in the back would not work with the black bra-cami.  I recalled stuffing a stretchy cream colored tank top in my bag to layer under the pink sweater.  I imagined that I could stick the removable thin cups from the black bra-cami inside the tank top.  The other casual shirts I brought would need to be layered with the tank-top plus bra lining inserts as well.  

I texted a friend, 'Ernie goes braless and no one will notice'.  (What can I say, I'm Irish and some version of the Erin go braugh bit has always served me well). 

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