cold shoulder 'look'

After I drop the girls off at their Irish dancing class, I sometimes run to the mall.  I carefully plan my sale rack scouring so that I make it back in time to pick them up.  I justify these little trips by reminding myself that it's a waste of gas and time to drive all the way home.  Of course tossing moo-la around at my favorite department store would never fall into the wasteful category.  I hunt for bargains, and I rarely come home unsuccessful.  That doesn't sound wasteful. 

My speeding ticket track record works as a deterrent.  It steers me away from excess driving.  I try to avoid racing back and forth from dancing . . . or anywhere.  If I don't hit the mall, I manage to utilize my time by parking near the dance studio, whipping out my iPad, and writing a post for my blog.

Although I'm under the weather and not feeling my normal 'shop-till-you-drop' self, I wasn't thrilled about camping out in a chilly car for two hours.  I needed to return a pair of jeans I bought for Mini, so I chose the mall as my dancing distraction. 

COLD SHOULDER SHIRT

It has been a few weeks since I dropped by my favorite hangout.  Many new items greeted me from the sale rack.  I swear some were taunting me:  'pick me, pick me!'  I did buy Mini ANOTHER pair of jeans.  The girl is impossible to shop for.  She is very tall for a 12 1/2 year old and her waist is super small.  She requires a belt even when she wears a size 24.  Such a dilemma, 'I can't buy jeans because my waist is SO small.' 

I got fed up watching her hide her crazy-town floods with her boots when she left for school everyday.  Now I find myself scooping up any pair of size 24 jeans that arrive on the sale rack.  Oh, to make matters more interesting, my search criteria include jeans with no rips or weird pearl or shiny stone or funky writing embellishments.  She's totally not into that.  (thank God).


There were a ton of cold shoulder shirts, blouses, and sweaters taking up real estate on the sale racks.  I don't live under a rock - just under a blanket of dirty socks, wrappers from eaten-on-the-sly food, and drop-where-you-disrobe (or unpack your basketball bag) clothing.  So, I know the cold shoulder look is a thing now.  Here's my reasons for not purchasing this latest fad:

1.  I'm always cold.  I don't need to add a shirt to my wardrobe (regardless of how tempting the reduced price is) to add to my difficulty-regulating-my-own-body-temperature-in-the-windy-city issue.

2.  I try to steer clear of fads.  I don't expect them to last, and life on a budget means I can't afford to stock up on items that will be so 'last year' by next month.  (OK, I am great at finding deals, so I can probably pull it off financially, but I have a hard enough time eliminating clothes from my closet that I feel haven't been through my wardrobe rotation equally.  I would not do well tossing something out that wasn't worn enough just because the trend died).  I do so hope this trend will die. 

ALWAYS TRYING TO APPEAR SHORTER-IN 8TH GRADE.

3.  Slouchy posture.  I am tall.  Growing up I hated being tall, standing out, and drawing attention to myself.  Thanks to this lack of self confidence, I ended up adopting bad posture.  My best friend was really short.  While I longed to be short like her, all I got was a mom who nagged me to constantly correct my shitty posture.  My shoulders aren't offensive looking, but imagine how goofy I would look highlighting my rounded and sad shoulders.  Yuck.

4.  I'm just not that cool.  No one will accuse me of being a trendsetter, although I do like to tell people that I created the knickers rage in the early '80's.  Jealous?  I was stuck wearing my older but shorter sisters' pants.  Can you say flood?  I blame this childhood scar for my need to keep Mini in clothes that aren't ill-fitting.  Nowadays, I struggle to pull off cute outfits.  Better to be overly matched or add in the right amount of contrast?  Better with leggins or skinny jeans, how do you know?  Will I be comfortable sucking in my belly fat all day?  Don't even expect me to know when and how to top my whole look off with the right scarf.  I don't accessorize.  At all.  My clothes often scream 'mom' (as if my minivan and my gaggle of kids weren't a dead giveaway).  If I donned a cold shoulder sweater, I'd definitely look like I was trying too hard.

5. Timing.  By the time I would stumble upon an affordable cold shoulder shirt on the sale rack, the moment would have passed.  It's the curse of being stingy with my money.  There are an awful lot of mouths to feed in this house. Bare shoulders - not a priority.