April 15, 2014


I've heard of twins or multiples devising their own language.  My kids all arrived individually, but I swear they have taken a few words and tweaked them.  When they are upset with a sibling or a situation, you can hear them add a syllable to the end of the negative word they are using.  The most common usage is when they sneer at a sibling to stop doing something.  It comes out like this:  'Stop-uhh'.  I asked Reggie how to spell 'stop-uhh' last year after listening to him utter this word (?) repeatedly while we were driving in the car.  He spelled it s-t-o-p-a.  Wise ass.

You would think the offending sibling would realize that this kid's buttons have been sufficiently pushed.  Time to back off.  This is rarely the outcome.  Instead I have the pleasure of hearing the added, offensive syllable until I want to say a 4 letter word myself with or without an elongated syllable at the end.  I'm confident that even without any added syllables they would still recognize my word choice as serious business. 

It did happen once.  Tetonka was struggling with sleep issues about a year ago.  This of course means that I was also struggling with sleep issues of my own.  And frustration issues.  And extremely high therapist bills.  I don't remember what the irrational thought was that he shared while I was serving dinner one night, but I believe he was insisting that he did not have a bed time.  He would decide to go to bed when he was ready.  (How's about now? I thought).  Coach wasn't home, so I was working off of a zone defense.  I tried to provide him with useful information, like:  'No, Daddy and I decide when you go to bed, and you will not stay up late tonight.'  The fit that ensued was unparalleled.  I was rushing to pick Mini up at a dancing practice and then race straight to a softball game, but the dinner had to be served first.  There was no room for nonsense.  Power struggle.  Screaming.  Then it happened.  Even if his behavior should have been ignored, I needed him to know that I wasn't coming home from a softball game to dance around this issue again.  Well, to be honest,  not sure I was in full control of what I wanted him to know.  It was over.  I went with something along the lines of:  "I am in f------ charge and I don't care what the f--- you say.  Just shut the f--- up!"  There may have been more bleeping.  It's all a blur.

He didn't stop right away.  I stomped my foot so hard while I was swearing like a sailor that it required ice packs for hours.  During the episode, Laddie and Eddie were sitting at the table across from Tetonk.  They had a facial, brother-speak thing happen that shut him down.  The kicks that they were delivering at his kneecaps under the table must have made an additional impact.  I think their faces complete with twitching eyebrows translated into something like:  'Brother, she's never used that word in front of us, let alone at us.  We are older than you.  We behave worse than you - usually.  But you have made her lose her marbles.  Shut it down.  It's over.  You lost.  Know when to stop-uhh.' 

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